Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Some Random facts about debaters

Everyone knows how these people mouth-off at least 1000 rounds of senseless words in .001 seconds and that the real thing that kills the poor listeners' souls is not the bacteria filled saliva (comparable to that of the Komodo Dragon's) but the infectious boredom and pointlessness of their speech.

Here are some random FACTS about collegiate debaters that is sure to bring out socio-political awareness in the reader:

1.) 94.9% of men in this community are gay. To sum it all up, there are 90% straight-out fags, 19% doubters and 1% closet dick-suckers. What kind of self-respecting man would rant for 8 minutes about social justice and equality and not know that his/her/it's kind is not generally accepted? I mean, if you're gay, straight-out, flaunt it suck a dick or something.

2.) All of these people are actually socially retarded. Geeks+ Parties= kids who try hard to fit in a world that is obviously not liking them. Debaters they call "prodigies" or have excellent analytical skills are what normal people call "freaks". And they can't even fucking hold a cup right without debating whether it's best that the cup be empty or not.

Don't get me started on what they wear. I mean, cosplayers look more decent than some of these flat-chested, freckle-faced retards who have trouble trying to determine the difference of a motel from a comfort room. I mean really. Even dogs know that the john is not a proper place to make out, err, well, mate! RETARDS!

3.) They're all talk and no walk. Let's admit it. These guys don't do shit about the things they talk about. They're the educated and spoiled sector of the youth who complain and complain and complain. They rant and rant and in the end of the day, they achieve nothing more but a tired mouth and for people who are environmentally aware, they spew out a lot of carbon dioxide. PETA is better than these people!

For people who think that being obese should be taxed, they sure are heavyweight idiots. They even try to argue on the side of the Catholic Chruch and against it, but they sure don't do a lot of reading with their bibles. They couldn't even quote Jesus if Pontius Pilate came up! Or if the Vatican was crumbling. And they have the nerve to tell people about equality and rights, well fuck you! You could have donated your blood to a bank or used all that money and energy for charitable purposes.

4.) They are the epitome of degrading moral standards in the Philippines. I believe I've said enough about this reason in the other statements. But let's not stop there. Aside from making out in the comfort rooms during parties, wearing scant pieces of garments, they even defend fucking homosexuality! WTH? They also claim to be atheists or agnostics. Wow. Well, goes to show that these people think they're so smart that they have their heads shoved way up their asses. These people couldn't even tell that no one gives a fuck about what they say!

4.) In the words of the great GamerTotoy, They live for the big fucking day (or week). These people duke out tons of money and effort into tournaments where everyone wants to hear everyone out. I mean, really, they spend countless hours matter fucking loading and shit like that.

They spend hard-earned money just so they could be part of something big like the National Debate Championship or the Philippine Intercollegiate Debate Championship and what for? To speak for a lousy 8 minutes and spew out tons of spit in the hopes of infecting the adjudicators with flesh eating, mind-rotting bacteria to death. WTF?! If you guys want to find out who the hell's smarter, go to some dumb-ass place where there are lots of plants and rant. Rant your ass off.

Don't they realize that there's a completely sunnier place than hanging out with other social retards?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Say Ahhh...

Cymothoa exigua

UK Guardian blasts PS3

So much for unbiased and responsible journalism. Tha UK Guardian definitely isn't the poster boy for those qualities. The site just ran an artice listing the pros and cons of the Nintendo Wii, Microsoft Xbox 360 and the Sony PlayStation 3. Everything was going well, except that the writer missed the pros for the PS3.

The site called Sony's current-generation console a disappointment and a platform only for those obsessed with the PlayStation brand. No mention of free online play, a built-in Blu-ray drive, and some of the best games out there were made.

The article called the Wii a nice intro to games and showed some love for its motion controls. The Guardian did say that the graphics aren't as impressive as the Xbox 360's and the PS3's and it told its readers that ground-breaking games for the console are infrequent.

Where it gets shady is on the Xbox 360 part which is a polar opposite of the PS3 bit. The Guardian showed love for everything the console does, but it did try to throw in sone form of criticism by dissing the Arcade SKU.

Way to parade your ignorance, Guardian. Next time stick to guarding whatever you're guarding in the UK and leave the gaming to us.

Monday, December 7, 2009

Floyd vs Manny- Why it would suck

(Bob Arum)

Mark your calendars for the "real" dream match people. March 13, 2010 is the official date where the two Titans face off.

(Do not mess with the mad scientist)

Despite all the controversies and all the boxing-geek analysis of the Mayweather-Pacquiao match, we are all destined to see it come the 13th of March, despite Freddy Roach's insistence that the fight should at least be on May 1.

Fight analysis comes later on. Allow me to rant about 1) Bob Arum's greed for money; 2) Manny's greed for glory- or maybe money too and 3) about how trash talk against the pacman won't work.

Days ago, Bob Arum flew to the Philippines to talk with the Filipino boxing legend about his supposed fight with Mayweather. It is evident that the Pacific typhoon is hellbent on facing boxing's moneyman Mayweather. After his ravaging of Puerto Rican pride, Miguel Cotto, Pacquiao says "I want to fight Mayweather". Not that he was able to fully construct the sentence in a correct manner, the essence is there anyway. To add to the drama, the crowd chanted "we want Floyd!" Is this a challenge to the Filipino pride? Or just a way of shutting up the blabber mouth that Mayweather is? It wouldn't matter anyway. So maybe after a few snacks and a beer or two, the two (Manny and Bob) settle and agree on March 13.


Bob Arum must already know that his boy, Manny, currently suffers a broken eardrum due to a devastating shot from Cotto. Freddie Roach says that he needs more time to recuperate, which I believe (despite being wrong in all his predictions, e.g., Hatton fight ends in 3 when it ended in 2, Cotto fight ends in 1, 9 or 10 which ended in 12) is a reasonable excuse for the fight to be pushed at least May 1st. I know that Bob just wants to make his boy, Manny, happy- but deep inside every fat-ass corporate tycoon, lies a greedy demon ready to pounce on money. And when money's there, it's there. Just so happens that Bob sealed the deal with Golden Boy out of some alcohol-induced talk and both probably wanted the fight March 13- could've pushed for a later date, but NO.

Manny, on the other hand, fiery and determined as he is doesn't see the punch that he's walking into. The Cotto fight has been his hardest fight ever, says Coach Roach, and he's clearly not out of the woods yet. Cotto dished out a hell of a lot of good shots to the body and I'm pretty sure they hurt. Another thing, the Filipino Dynamo is vying for a place in Congress (like they need more idiots there). This should make focus for the Filipino a lot harder. I mean, preparations for the Cotto fight was hard enough to deal with- a reason why Pacquiao suffered that much, what more the tedious task of political advertising? This guy just won't stop. I know that he serves as a poster boy for filipino hardwork and shit but I suggest he stick to boxing. Politics will just ruin his name.

Floyd Gayweather, on the other hand, talks a lot of trash and maybe he should. Given the filipino's success, insecurity should set in and I can't blame the guy for telling the world that he (mayweather) can beat the filipino pride in an "easy fight". I don't quite call him a fighter yet because he's just some opportunist who backs up every time and chances upon that moment where his opponents are most vulnerable. A fighter is one who's fallen but is able to stand up again. Mayweather hasn't been defeated yet so a fighter, he's not. Just some street thug who happened to learn how to box and flee when the time requires it. Now his trash-talking may have affected his opponents from the past- but not Manny Pacquiao. I think one reason why Manny's a great fighter is because he isn't affected by word play. Business is business, like he says (in filipino, of course). Maybe one reason he isn't touch by verbal mud sling is the fact that he doesn't have full mastery of English. He's too simplistic (wouldn't want to say dumb) to understand that he's being treated like trash-which he is certainly not given his boxing success.

Well. With all that money on the line, the bastard pushed forward for a 65/45 share of the profit. Cowardice or just pure money politics? I wouldn't know. One thing's for sure though. This fight's gonna be one hell of a money maker. Kudos to Boxing and the blood thirsty crowd!

Fight analysis-wise, it's going to be Mayweather's jabs against the flurry of Pacquiao's fists. If we're going to observe the fights of Pacman, he's jarred by jabs and given Mayweather's height advantage, it's going to be one hell of a challenge for the Pacific typhoon. Also, Mayweather is a defensive strategist, so if he's not throwing jabs, he's just sidestepping or moving back, setting something up in the process. Hopefully, Roach thinks of a way to counter that. So it's settled, the typhoon against the king. Place your bets people this is going to be either a very boring fight (thanks to Mayweather's gay tactics) or a very exciting one (thanks to the fists or pacquiao).

For the most part, Manny Pacquiao, please don't go to politics, or singing, or acting. A lot of boxers are respected and loved because they are what they are- fighters. Nothing more, nothing less. But I guess you wouldn't understand that. Bruce Lee is a great fighter, but he never ran for president.

Oh, and Mayweather, prepare for a beating of a lifetime you ass-fuck. Mouth off all you want. You got your money. You got your fame. One day, someone's going to have to take a stand. Someone's going to have to say enough. Maybe Pacquiao didn't say that, but the people did.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Good Guy Pose- The Maguindanao Massacre

Remember what this is? Oh come on. I know you know what I mean...

That's right. Now here's one for you!

This, as we all know, is the good guy pose. It may be the most common- or most profound gesture that expresses approval over an action or accomplishment. It can also be translated as a form of reassurance over a matter that brings about the air of extreme doubt.

With fifty people found dead in the aftermath of the Maguindanao massacre, we can only help but think about how screwed up the world is. I'm not going to talk about any political analyses here, or any crap about why this happened and what must be done- everyone knows that already, everyone knows what must be done, it's just that no one's brave enough, or rich enough to do it.

For that, I give the good guy pose for any person out there for not being able to do what must be done, given that he/she has the resources to do it. Fuck you, you inconsiderate ass-wipes.

I give the good guy pose to the Ampatuans, who're going to get screwed because they got their heads shoved way up their asses. (I have to say though, they must be punished- Justice must be served on the part of the people killed). They're monsters, yes, that's true and it's rumored that their political rivals were direct descendants of their clan as well. You know what that means: food fight! Kidding aside, I know a lot of people would crave for justice, and would call to the present administration to stop the growing culture of fucking impunity- but they don't give a shit. That's the way it works, i guess. That's why I'm giving them another good guy pose. They killed a lot of people and they are actually going to get away with it!

I also give the good guy pose to the Moro warlords in Maguindanao as a form of approval- Yes! Kill all the bastards that haplessly murdered innocent women and children. Shoot their testicles, rip off their pubic hairs one-by-one. Tickle their feet until they die. While you're at it, you might as well point that gun on your fucking Jihadist heads and pull the Goddamn trigger. You're no different.

And the ultimate good guy pose goes to the President of the Philippines who's done everything she can to make the Philippines a worse place and by making sure that everyone's lives are as screwed up as they should be.

.condolences to the victims of the massacre. the REAL GOOD GUY POSE goes to you. may you find eternal rest.

Friday, November 13, 2009

5 Reasons why Left 4 Dead 2 sucks

The much awaited Left 4 Dead 2 has more stink than boomer bile and smoker gas. Ones that excited gamers and followers of the Left 4 Dead franchise may have, perhaps, overlooked. Several gaming groups have pledged to not buy the game because- its sucks- on their part. Is there really more value in bloody chainsaws and deadly frying fans?

Let me get to the point:

1. Left 4 Dead 2 is nothing but a rip-off of most survival horror games (most importantly, of Left 4 Dead). When you've gone through enough games with rampaging undead/infected people and shoot or hack your way through, you have to stop at one point in time and ask yourself: "Is this all there is in life?"

2. The plot sucks- wait a minute- there is no plot. A lot of people have been arguing that the beauty lies right there. I say, unless Left 4 Dead 2 is able to come up with some sort of story, then it'll be nothing more than a senseless shoot 'em up/ hack-and-slash with no point at all.

3. The characters suck. Well, okay, I just thought that they should not have had replaced Zoey. I mean, let's face it, Zoey is one of the hottest characters that hit the gaming world. Why? Because her simplicity suggests a hidden sexual beast (Or I'm probably just in to chicks with guns and bloodlust). The new special infected also suck because theyr'e rip-off of the first 4 special infected. The Charger is a big guy with a big-ass right hand that, well, charges at a survivor to some distance and just whacks him up and down like he was masturbating. The Jockey is some freak that likes taking piggy back rides on survivors. The Acid spitter, well, spits acid and makes a murky bog for survivors to step on and get their health damaged.

4. The melee system is pointless. It just drives gamers to hack and slash their way to hordes of zombies and special infected. I just don't get it. The inclusion of a samurai, a chainsaw and the dreaded frying pan makes the game a screw-up. I mean, really, come on. Who would bring a frying pan to whack the undead back to hell?

5. The games developers must be really sucking in some big money this time. Why would I pay for something that I can get off the 1st game? Left 4 Dead is cool enough with totally likeable characters and an urban setting fit for zombie owning and tank-slaying. I think it's awful that big-ass corporations have to resort to this in order to gain more buck. I miss the old days of gaming where everything is simple. Kill or die.

I hope they don't sell episodic versions of the series- wait a minute- there are no episodes. I remember, there is no plot.

But I guess that the corporate world does run in this way and we absolutely have no way of changing it. Talk about a zombie apocalypse..

I wish Zoey was there.

Left 4 Dead 2 hits the stores on November 17, 2009.
Ready your frying pans!